The (Mis?) Adventures of a Half-A*sed Cowboy…
Sorry for the picture quality there…that’s what I get for snapping a quick photo with an iPhone at 10:30pm…lol. Anyhow, that right there is my Tom…the love of my life, some days the bane of my existence…and my very own half a*sed cowboy. Yup..you heard it right…and it came straight from his own mouth about a few weeks ago. This pic was taken the last Thursday in September and yes, we didn’t eat until 10:30..lol. That’s what happens when it’s too hot to do anything when you’re camping except set up your tent and try not to melt. It came out of his mouth “mumble, mumble, half a*sed cowboy…mumble.” I did not try to translate the mumbles. I’ve learned not to…lol.
I digress though…I ask him to roast us a couple of hot dogs each b/c he’s better at the whole fire thing (seriously…no one wants me near one, I have BAD balance issues and the next thing I would know I’d be going poof because I fell in) and the words “Half-As*sed Cowboy” come out of his mouth…which got me thinking.
cow·boy [kou-boi] noun
a man who herds and tends cattle on a ranch, especially in the western
U.S., and who traditionally goes about most of his work on horseback. OR
a man who exhibits the skills attributed to such cowboys
My Tom…he’s not the horse riding, chap wearing, “Yee-haw” yellin (okay, that was kinda cliche but you get my point) kind of cowboy…but he is..
The “cowboy” who will let a friend’s daughter climb into a pack and then put said pack on his shoulders. (Relax…she was giggling the entire time and her Dad was standing there the entire time to get her out quickly if needed)
Who wears a shirt like this (which is stolen from me I might add) while making a face like that. (Purty ain’t he? He’s currently up for sale…at this point I’ll take a best offer bid. 😉 ).
If you’d meet him on the street, he’d be pleasurable but stand-offish…until he got to know you. He’s protective of his family and God help the person that hurts one of us. He’s a butthead and a jerk about 75% of the time. He’s not very affectionate and getting him to talk about his feelings? Yeah I gave up on that months ago…lol. He is everything that I never thought I would want in a man and the exact opposite of everything I thought I did. He’s a man…who in his own way…the only way he knows how…loves me with everything he has.
Somewhere along the way though? I finally began to understand something. I had realized it long before but realizing something and truly understanding that same thing are two entirely different things. I realized that what this man needed was grace. He needed someone to look at him with favor…to show him love in different ways than he had ever known before…to simply teach him. What an understanding to come to.
It’s a daunting task. I’ll admit that. Frankly, it terrifies me. It is one of those things that constantly plagues my mind with questions like “what if I fail?” “Does it even matter?” “Will it really make a difference?” I finally decided that it doesn’t matter. I show him grace because I love him…not because I’m trying to save what I think needs saving. I’m not in his head. I’m not in his heart. I don’t know what needs “saving” about him anymore than you, my reader, does. If, in the end, I fail at it, then I fail. We can’t live our lives constantly fearing failure…because that will only cause us to fail.
He may not be what I had planned for a partner and he may have “rough and tough” exterior but he’s mine. My very own personal G.I Joe and my “half a*sed cowboy.” That fact alone…is worth showing all of the grace and love in the world to him. (Plus? That smile right there, rare as it it sometimes…is enough to make me melt over and over again. )
Everyone deserves a little grace in their lives. I know that personally I feel better about myself when I’m showing love, kindness and giving grace in general. When is the last time that you showed someone grace or mercy in your life? Try it. You may just realize that you’ve done a good thing.
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